Hey you,

Welcome to the 7th edition of The Life You Want.

Every edition will challenge what you’ve heard.


Enough yapping, lets jump in.

My friend broke up last week.

The reason? Cheating.

In the long convo we had about cheating and his partner, I was left with more questions than answers.

He broke up because his partner danced with a stranger in the club.

Tragic I know…

But when I spoke to the girl, she said that the stranger coerced her to dancing and she stopped as soon as she could.

Now who is right?

I don’t know, it seems like a misunderstanding.

That is upto them to figure out.

But what they considered cheating was different.

So this got me thinking.

What truly is cheating?

Me and my partner had this conversation, and this is what we came to.

Cheating is anything.

It can be intercourse, kissing, touching, even talking.

What matters isn’t the action, but the intent.

Why are you performing that action?

That is your answer.

You’re intentions are everything that matter.

If you’re only speaking to someone with those intentions, you are no better than someone doing intercourse.

You are the same, because your intentions are the same.

The actions are just downstream from those intentions.

“But how do I know my intentions?”

Don’t lie to me.

Don’t lie to yourself.

Don’t lie to your soul.

You know.

Your soul knows.

Your heart knows.

It notifies you.

Yet you still go ahead.

And cover it up.

Deluding yourself.

Lying to yourself, to lie to your partner.

So how does courage tie into this?

We all get those intentions.

Intentions to cheat.

It is wired in our biology.

That lust part of us exists, it ignores everything else.

Ignoring love, trust, growth, compatibility.

But it takes courage to not act on those intentions.

Getting those intentions isn’t cheating.

Acting on them is.

Acting on them while covering it up is.

Don’t demonise those intentions.

Observe them. And don’t act on them.

That is the truly courageous act.

-RT x

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Until next time :)