Hey you,

Welcome to the 12th edition of The Life You Want.

Every edition will challenge what you’ve heard.


Enough yapping, lets jump in.

A few years ago, I had a favourite mug.

Nothing fancy.
Slightly chipped.
Held heat just right.

One morning, half-asleep, I dropped it.

It shattered instantly.

No confusion.
No debate.
No emotional negotiation.

It was broken, so I swept it up and threw it away.

Later that week, a different mug cracked.

Just a thin line along the side.

It still worked.
Still held coffee.
Still mattered.

And that’s when the problem began.

Do I keep using it?
Do I fix it?
Do I replace it?
What if it breaks completely later?

The shattered mug was easy.
The cracked one demanded attention.

That’s the difference between hate and love.

Hate looks heavier than love, but it isn’t.

Hate is clean.
It has clear edges.
It makes decisions for you.

If someone hates you, you don’t need to manage them.

You don’t need to nurture the connection.
You don’t need to explain yourself carefully.

They’ve already chosen distance.

And here’s the part people miss:

Hate resolves itself.

Either the person softens over time as you remain yourself, or they fade out of your life entirely.

Both outcomes reduce friction.

Hate doesn’t require maintenance.

It doesn’t ask you to be precise.

It doesn’t demand emotional calibration.

It’s the shattered mug.

Clear.
Final.
Simple.

Love isn’t.

Love is the cracked mug.

It still holds something valuable.

Which means now you have responsibility.

You have to notice tone.
You have to adjust timing.
You have to balance honesty with care.

Too much softness and love becomes dishonest.

Too much truth and love becomes cruel.

You can’t disappear.
You can’t dominate.
You can’t go numb.

Love asks you to stay present.

To keep checking:

Am I being honest, or just harsh?
Am I being kind, or just comfortable?
Am I protecting this bond, or controlling it?

This is why love exhausts people.

Not because it’s painful.
But because it demands skill.
And skill requires attention.

Neglect turns love into resentment.

Fear turns love into control.

Silence turns love into misunderstanding.

Hate never asks for this level of care.

Love does, because it’s alive.

It takes courage to accept being hated.

But it takes more courage to love well.

To stay gentle without becoming weak.
To speak truth without becoming sharp.
To allow closeness without trying to own it.

Most people choose hate.

Not because they’re cruel.

But because it’s easier.

Easier to throw the mug away than risk fixing it.
Easier to label than to understand.
Easier to harden than to hold.

But love is where growth happens.

Love is where you’re forced to mature.

To regulate yourself.
To remain open when closing would feel safer.

And yes, loving means risking being misunderstood.

It means risking loss.
It means risking effort without guarantees.

That’s the cost.

The courage isn’t in choosing love once.

It’s in choosing it again after disappointment, after fatigue, after the crack appears.

Because hate ends the story quickly.

Love asks you to keep writing.

-RT x

Follow me on twitter here.

Until next time :)